I’ve earned my axe. Now where’s my crown?
So many of you (all 2, 3?) must be wondering why we here at the Rumble Pack don’t update our blogs that often. “Surely,” you think, “it must be because there is no news truly worth blogging about.” Well sir, I must admit that you are very insightful…and horribly naive. See over here in Cleveland we’ve got a huge case of the LAZIES. Sure we can get together to do the cast every week…but update a website? My dear sage, who, pray think, HAS that kind of time?
Well now that I work…I do. Whoopee!
And what more wonderful way to start off my return to the Rumble Pack blogs than with the news of my exciting accomplishment.
You see that screen-shot up there kids?
Do you see it?
Tonight, on Tuesday, September 5th, 2007, I’ve finished something I set out to do in September of last year.
I’ve become a Guitar Hero.
To clarify, (for those of you that don’t know), I finally beat the original Guitar Hero for the PS2 on expert mode tonight, completing what I very might well classify as one of the greatest achievements in gaming that I’ve ever worked hard to acquire.
I started my GH journey last September, when good sir Thomas suggested that I buy a Red-octane axe and join with him on a glory trip to Valhalla, from the likes of which I would probably never return. “I accept your invitation, sir Thomas! Guide me down this glorious road of which you speak!” I shouted, and put that shoulder strap on for the first time.
Well over the course of the year I survived through many small battles in my struggle for game-rock godliness. I took Franz Ferdinand out, took Incubus to outer space, got sharply dressed (beard and all), punched Ziggy Stardust in the face, bent over and coughed for the Cowboys from Hell, and juuuuust tonight…barked at the moon with Ozzy.
What I find so interesting (and unique) about the Guitar Hero games is the fact that this is the only franchise I know where the longer you rest between playing the game…the better you become, I swear to god. Back when I was playing last fall, I spent nearly a month trying to beat Pantera’s Cowboys From Hell on expert mode. Ask my former suitemates (Tom’s one of them) and they’ll tell you how it slowly drove me to the brink of insanity before I finally got a lucky star-power and cleared the song. I just could NOT get used to it.
Then later in the Spring and Summer, I picked up my Guitar to give GHII and GH: Rocks your Wallet Edition some lovin. My hands, as if I had been playing every day in between, somehow had figured out how to move by themselves…and hit the right notes! What the hell!? Practice makes perfect? Hell, not in this game. Give your fingers a break, and they’ll pay you back, BIG TIME.
So after I had beaten Cowboys from Hell I sort of lost interest in Guitar Hero. I’d worked so hard for that one song, and heard so many 99% Failure stories about Ozzy’s Bark at the Moon that I just didn’t have the heart to keep playing.
Tonight I had a craving for some classic GH. Hell, I could take on Ozzy, he wasn’t so bad.
And that’s the sad part…He wasn’t.
After reaching that hilarious 99% mark on my first try, I knew it was possible. Third time was the charm.
So ring the Christmas Bells! I’ve finally earned the right to call myself a Guitar Hero!
If only this game’s 3rd sequel wasn’t coming out NEXT MONTH. Man, I’ve got some catching up to do.
Did I mention that I can’t beat the 7th tier of GH2 yet?
But seriously, who actually wants to play Psychobilly Freakout?
Shut up, you big liar.
It’s a good night for gaming folks.
Next time, I’ll tell you all about the lovely capcom RPG I’m playing for the VC. Lucky you.